While not set in stone, a life plan for young adults can help reduce anxiety
Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash
If you are between the ages of 16 and 25, chances are a well-meaning older adult has asked you what you plan to do with your life. Those questions can bring up so many worries, but know that your loved ones feel excited for you as you embark on this journey called life. A life plan for young adults can help ease some of the anxiety created by all the unanswered “what ifs” swirling around in your head.
Think about your parents, grandparents, older neighbors and other adults who have influenced you throughout your childhood and adolescence. They were once where you are now: Young, unsure, excited about the future – and perhaps also uneasy about what it would bring. Nobody sets out into the real world with all the answers. In fact, half the fun is choosing your first steps and discovering where they lead you.
Choosing to Act
Unfortunately, too many young people get stuck behind the starting line, with fear holding them back from those important life discoveries. While school, home and your current situation might feel comfortable, opting not to choose is actually a choice.
Life will move forward, with or without you, and you can choose to take an active role in it – or choose to let it sweep you along in the current. Those who make active decisions build their confidence and have a much better chance at creating a sense of meaning and purpose in both their work and personal lives.
Staying stuck can create a long-term cycle of inaction. If you already feel uncertain, worried or anxious, that cycle can make your sense of fear and uncertainty worse. This psychologist explains:
“...anxious people are highly motivated to make the ‘right’ decisions, keep everyone happy, and avoid the potential for unpleasant emotions like regret, guilt, or doubt. This is actually a strength, provided you channel it towards your most important choices.
But when you're in the habit of overthinking almost every little thing, you can lose sight of the bigger picture. And the pattern tends to get worse with time. The more we overthink, the more we believe overthinking is essential to making smart choices.”
For adolescents and young adults, life choices can feel overwhelming, but it helps to remember that you have been making choices all your life. From which outfit to wear to which classes to take, you have had to make decisions every single day. Moving into young adulthood means building on that already established skill.
Creating a Life Plan
When entering the so-called real world, the choices will sometimes be bigger – where to attend college or whom to marry – but not every decision carries life-changing importance. If you select a school that’s not the right fit, for example, you can choose to change schools. Right now, it’s important to make both small and big decisions that will set you on a path forward.
In the Disney/Pixar movie, Soul, the main character meets a new soul (voiced by Tina Fey) who has been stuck in indecision mode for hundreds of years. This soul, 22, has never experienced life on Earth because she hasn’t found her spark. She seems perfectly content to stay in “The Great Before” (where, in this movie world, new souls live before they begin a life on Earth), but the world opens up to her as the movie continues. While this film is not how things actually go, you get the point!
As humans, we don’t have hundreds of years to make that discovery. In our limited time here, we must make choices that allow us to lead healthy, fulfilled lives.
As you consider your life plan, think about what makes you uniquely you. Do you recognize yet how you were created to contribute? What values have guided you so far and what ones are aching to be noticed? Begin your planning there and ask yourself:
When I have I felt most like me?
What projects or activities feel more like fun than work?
When do I focus the most and feel most in the zone?
Is there something I have always wanted to learn or try?
Which jobs or industries do I feel most curious about?
Which life experiences so far have made me feel most accomplished?
What’s one small decision I can make today that will help me discover one next step?
The answers to these questions don’t necessarily point to a clear career path, but they should help you understand your own strengths and interests. Those insights can help you narrow down your choices. If you loved shop class and most enjoy working with your hands, for example, maybe you can cross law school off your life plan list.
Understanding what you like and what you want will help you make better decisions for yourself. Your parents, family and friends might offer advice, but they ultimately can’t make the decision for you.
Growing into Adulthood
The good news? No matter your age, you can always learn. You can always make new choices.
At age 16, 18 or 22, you might be choosing a path for this particular phase of your life – but that path will open up into new opportunities. Life is not a linear experience, but each moment leads us to the next set of beautiful choices. New work, new friends, new homes. Your life will be full of new at each age and stage.
As you grow into these phases of your life, certain skills will help you manage the inevitable “what ifs” that pop up. (Yes, even your parents and elders experience uncertainty and doubt occasionally.)
In addition to decision-making ability, you will need:
Acceptance. Life does not hand us guarantees. Accepting uncertainty, but acting anyway, will serve you throughout your life.
Stress management. We all experience stress, and stress can help motivate us, but we also need tools to keep it in check.
Social support. Just because you move out and move into adulthood doesn’t mean you don’t need your parents. Rely on them, as well as other family and friends, for moral support and guidance.
Resilience. It’s only by experiencing life that we learn just how strong we are. Each life experience you have will help you build resilience that will see you through any challenge.
Belief. Belief in yourself. Belief in the goodness of life. Belief in God. Your spiritual health will support a life fully lived.
As you begin the adventure called adulthood, these skills will help you move forward with confidence. You do not need to be perfect or make the 100% right choice every time. I guarantee that you will make mistakes – we all do.
Your goal is to create a life you feel good about. One that fills you with a sense of meaning and belonging. There is no one-size-fits-all, and you get to choose what you make of it.
Are you a young adult struggling with life choices or direction? As a #LaunchWell coach, I can guide you through decision-making, help you discover things about yourself, and develop life skills that will set you up for success. Reach out to me to learn more.