Growth mindset and a sense of adventure support independence in young adulthood
Photo by Alexis Brown on Unsplash
Transitioning into adulthood responsibilities can feel scary initially, but each success will help you build confidence. Building independence in young adulthood doesn’t have to mean fear and struggle – it can mean freedom and success. While having a supportive sphere of influence is essential, you will find that the role of parents, teachers and mentors shifts. Notice how they will want to encourage and support more than advise.
I am a parent to some amazing young adults who have each begun to forge their individual paths. I have watched them face and overcome obstacles, and I have stood with a tear in my eye as I witness them discover their own strength in the process.
I also remember all too well that feeling of expansive, and sometimes daunting, opportunity that came with maturing from teenager to adult. Desperately wanting to dive into life and to figure out who I was, but also wanting to cling to what was known and comfortable. It’s something each of us must experience as we grow into the lives we were meant to lead.
First steps
While you likely don’t remember your first steps as a toddler, I guarantee the adults in your life do. They watched as you teetered and tumbled forward until something clicked and your body just knew what to do. I bet they remember how you grinned ear to ear when you realized what you had just accomplished.
Right now, the trusted adults in your life feel exactly the same sense of anticipation and excitement as you try out your first grown-up steps. Every parent of a teen knows the teeth-clenching mix of pride and worry as we let our teens drive, date, work or travel alone for the first time.
Do you believe that your body, mind, heart and spirit know what to do now? Have you given yourself enough freedom to try? When you allow yourself to take those important first steps, confidence begins to replace fear. When you trust yourself (and God) enough, you can conquer more than you ever dreamed.
Responsibility and freedom
Professor Jeffrey Jensen Arnett coined the term “emerging adulthood” to describe young adults between the ages of 18 and 25. Many of these individuals no longer feel like kids, but hesitate to refer to themselves as fully adult.
Arnett described true adulthood as: making independent decisions, accepting responsibility and maintaining financial independence. During emerging adulthood, young adults begin to make more significant strides in each of these areas. Sure, you might still call Mom and Dad if you need help, but you begin to manage your day-to-day life on your own.
Accepting responsibility leads to more freedom and autonomy. You have the power to make decisions for yourself, balanced with the maturity to understand how those decisions impact your long-term goals and life satisfaction.
Reframing anxiety and worry
Taking on more adult responsibility has always created a certain level of anxiety and stress for young adults. Since the beginning of the pandemic, however, some of those stresses have been amplified.
According to the Newport Institute, which specializes in mental health, young adults in 2021 are:
“...grappling with a challenging job market, devastating political and environmental issues, academic pressure, and a pervading sense of loneliness and disconnection, not to mention the psychological repercussions of the past year.”
To be sure, we all have lived through a collective trauma that can leave even the most capable adult feeling depleted and worried. However, remember that humans have tremendous capacity for resilience.
We can adapt to societal changes, and many of us might even make contributions that change the world in a positive way. As we begin to understand what our global and societal landscape means for our communities, we can begin to see where we fit into the big picture and how we can make a difference.
Managing reactions to stress
It’s completely normal to feel nervous when embarking on a new adventure, but you can also begin to shift your mindset to embrace the excitement more than the fear. Allow yourself to feel the anxiety, but then apply strategies for using that nervous energy to create positive momentum. Fear does not have to paralyze you.
The same chemicals in the brain control both anxiety and excitement. The difference between the two is how we process and react to the event. According to this medically reviewed article:
“For example, if you’ve been anxious in the past while public speaking, chances are you’re going to be anxious when you’re walking up to that podium again. The difference between healthy anxiety and unhealthy anxiety is your relationship with this stimulus and whether it’s making you feel fear.”
With practice, you can train your brain and body to stop the negative thought cycle before it takes hold. When you can rewire that thought process, you can then talk yourself through a more positive and optimistic scenario. You can envision yourself managing the challenge and coming through the other side successfully – and stronger.
If you feel ready to launch into adulthood, but fear and anxiety have been holding you back, reach out to me for a complimentary 15-minute conversation. I coach young adults who want to Launch Well, and I will help you develop an action plan around education, vocation, career decisions and other adulthood topics.